How do you handle an aggressive family member with dementia?

Anger, violence, aggression, and hostility directed at you, are characteristics and traits you never thought you would experience from a loved one. Sadly, as dementia worsens over time this too can become your nightmarish reality. I don’t know about you, but if my mom began cursing at me and emotionally berated me, it would break my heart. This is also relate-able to the caregiver that is not related to the individual they are caring for because emotional and physical abuse is also common in this situation.  So, having a game plan on how to deal with such issues of anger and hostility is extremely important for a caregiver and something we train our In Home Care Sacramento Staff on.
Fortunately, there are a lot of resources out there to help you cope and a lot of solutions too! Let’s talk about some thing that can help you deal with a loved one or individual that is displaying anger and hostility towards you or another person.

• Be aware of your environment and search out potential causes of irritation. Often a physical discomfort, like a pillow that is supporting your loved ones’ lower back get displaced causing them to be uncomfortable or a loud noise, can be a trigger. Or maybe there are too many people in the room congesting conversations and creating a lot of noise. Whatever it may be, be sure to investigate potential irritants and solutions.
• It is imperative that your demeanor and disposition reflects a calm and soothing manner. Feelings can be contagious. If you are irritated and frustrated, it is not difficult to transfer those feelings to another person. Be sure to communicate in a calm way and be clear with your message.
• Consistency can be your best friend. People like routines. People are more comfortable when they know what is coming next in the day, and what comes after that. No sudden changes or surprises please. Habits make us feel safe and comfortable. If you do not have control over your day, it is left wide open to all the disarray, change, spontaneity that people with dementia don’t like. Create a routine and stick to it.
• If your loved one begins to show signs of anger and aggression, be sure to give them space. Back off for a bit. This is important for your safety and the safety of the one you are caring for. Stepping back will also give you some time to think of a solution and a way to deescalate the situation.
• This may sound simple but be sure to take care of their physical needs. Be sure to assess for disease. Often an UTI can go undetected in the elderly for quite some time because, fever is not a reliable indicator. Also, hunger and thirst are important to satisfy. Dementia is confusion; your loved one may not realize they haven’t eater in 20 hours or had something to drink all day.
• Similar to what you would do with children, attempt to redirect. Try to get them to focus on something other than the irritant and away from the negative emotions they are experiencing.
• Attempt to understand the irritation and frustration, ask questions, and take the time to be a sleuth. Maybe you can clarify some things and perhaps get them down from their anger by simply asking what it is that is bothering them. Frustration can be linked to the understanding that they are failing and losing their memories.

Home health care has many advantages over the alternatives, but one disadvantage from not being in a health system or nursing facility is lack of support for the caregiver. Caregivers are tasked to care for Seniors for the most part by themselves. That said, experiences caregivers that can work independently are extremely valuable. Understanding and living the solutions described are necessary to success. Believe it or not, senior in home care, home health care, and home caregivers’ roles can be dangerous. You’d think, “well here is this nice little old lady, she’s cute as a button”, not realizing she is quite capable of causing injury to you. Take the time to understand the resources provided. For more information, you can visit us at http://inhomecaresacramento. If you have questions or would like a free consultation, give us a call at 916-702-8552.